the morning after
after the whole ‘i wanna be a bad episode’, i’ve come to realise one thing. Its alot easier for me to just be myself. I’ve learnt that i like making ppl happy. screw it if they take me granted, i don’t care. As long as i’m happy right. I like being that guy who comes super early to work, puts his stuff in the locker n then takes orders for breakfast. It feels good to be nice. I’m addicted to the feeling. I love the look of gratitude the guard gives me when i buy for him his usual coffee. I love the way the kakak from the armoury greets me as i walk to the locker to put my stuff. I’ve come to realise it doesnt matter to me anymore whether other ppl’s niceness towards is genuine or not. I enjoy being nice.
then, at work, i realise ppl will respond to u more when they know ur a nice person. Somehow, ur reputation precedes u n ppl like u before they even meet u. its a great feeling to be liked too. But dats not really wat im after. i intend to be at peace with myself, cuz underneath the jokes n the happy face lies someone who’s been at war with himself, constantly judging n regreting his every action.
i’d say its about time this 28yr old boy grows into a man.
never too late right? haha
Friendship is like wetting your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.
– Taken from a British quiz show, QI.my moment of zen
this is what she said.
http://scarletfrost.tumblr.com/post/227200461/adam-brody-as-the-antagonist-nikolai-in-jennifers
this is what i think she’s saying.
1) if you let ppl set a lower expectation, it wouldn’t be that hard to impress anyone.
2) if you so consistently disappoint, it wouldn’t be that big a deal if you become a bigger-than-usual disappointment.
3) trying to make ppl happy is a bad thing.
that’s it. that was the last straw. my mini best friend has convinced me (probably unintentionally) that for me to be happy, i should stop trying to make other ppl happy.
so all thanks the mighty mini darth vader (im never at fault for anything), i jumped thru the portal over to the dark side only to find myself sprawled on the floor; no Obi Wan on my side; no light sabre on my waist; just a little yoda telling me “we rant we rave, but we remain biased anyways.”
So based on the newly embraced school of thought, in order for my feeling of self satisfaction to improve, my moral character had to deteriorate.(and apparently my spelling abilities got there first; i had to use spelling check for that word. my English teacher would have been so disappointed. =P) which was kind of ironic because based on the old syllabus; for me to find happiness, i must be good. but to hell with that, all that’s obsolete now. =P
oh yeah. i probably missed the fact that for all this to work out, i’d probably have to look like adam brody.
dammit.
